In a previous post we told you about the planning stage of a realistic fiction story. We have almost finished writing our story. We have written an introductory paragraph and three even paragraphs. While doing the shared writing we learned about all details and “show-not-tell” That means that we describe the event/emotion/action instead of writing short sentences such as, “She was scared.”
WE NEED YOUR HELP! Please read our story below and then reply with an ending of your own. We’ll then analyze all of the suggested endings and choose the best one!
It was a marvellously sunny day in Danville. Kendra was on her way to the biggest park in the neighbourhood. She was hoping that her friends would be there because she was tired of playing by herself.
Kendra skipped the whole way to the park. when she got there she saw Joseph and Milla walking towards the park. All three faces litup with giant smiles. Kendra and Milla asked, “Do you want to go on the slide?” “No way!” Joseph replied.
Joseph crossed his arms and asked, “Do you want to play tag instead?” The girls looked at each other and answered, “No way hosea!” Joseph looked nervous and whispered, “I’m scared to go down the giant slide.”
So Kendra and Milla said, “We’ll go down first and show you that it’s not so scary.” The girls were laughing and smiling as they climbed the ladder. Joseph was shaking inside and he could feel his heart beating as he watched the girls. They waved to Joseph and flew down the slide as a train.
josephs face lite up like christmas lights he said thank you for helping me kendra and milla the girls were proud of them selves and for the rest of the day the 3 friends were haveing so much fun
Finlly joseph whent down the giant slid!He didint stop untill his mom came to pick him up.Joseph was sad.
dear mrs hackett I think the ending should be like this……………………………after they went down the slid a copel of times kendra asked if milla and joseph wanted to play on the monkey bars. milla siad in a wisper i,m scared of going on the monkey bares”WHAT”yelled kendra ples dont tell me we have to teach you that its not so scary like we had to joseph!milla sroged her sholders slowle?????? uh/oh siad joseph.
I thking the ending shode be when the girls got to the botme Joseph setintle felt good agene.So he went on the slid and successfully got to the botme. THE END
dear hackett I think the ending is like this See said kendra and milla know it,s your trun jest go.so joseph went down he said wwwwwwwww!then they all played tag . the end
after the girls were done at the park they went home and told everyone and they were hoping to go the next day.
i like the story but you couid describe the story more like use even more descrpteve words like hmmm…well you know what i mean.
wee! said the girs now you try Joseph no way guys can you come with me.shure said the girs.the girs went with Joseph was scared.when they got down Joseph had fun and went to go on it a gene.
Dear mrs hackett I think the ending should be like this …………………………… then milla and kendra say “HEY JOSEPH ITS NOT SCARY!” Finally joseph went down the big giant slide and he realised it was not scary at all and the had the rest of the day happy.
dear mrs.hackett it should be then joseph gos down and he likes it so he keeps going down the slid.Then they all go down as a train and they all go over and over agen.They get hugry so they get ther bag and pulls out a sandwig.they go back to the slid and go down the slid over and over agen. they get tyerd and go home to have diner and put ther p.g.s on and read a book.Then they get in bed to go to sleep.The End
“weee!” said the girls now joseph wanted to go down because they were having fun.”Lem’e go lem’e go!”said joseph wihle he wined. Joseph kept going down and down “well i’m going home” said the “girls see you tomorow joseph.”Josoph kept going down and down until his mom came to get him joseph said that he would go down tomorow and always be happy.
dear mrs hackett I think the ending should be and joesph saild fine I will try and go down the giant slide so the girls waited for joesph to clime the slide and joesph finily climed the slid and then they all went down together as a ttain but then joesphs mom called him but joesph did not hear his mom beacase he was having so much fun